Happy, Happy DAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TAYLOR SUE!!!  Where has the time gone?? So much has happened in the last few years.  I cannot believe my baby girl is two today.  So much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving morning.  Life goes by faster as we get older.  I cannot believe I am 33 (I think). Seriously, I cannot remember, and it's too early for math. I cannot wait to spend this day with loved ones and reflect and make more memories together.  I have the best family in the world. EVER!! Jake and I and the girls are going to my parents this year. I love turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing. I never ate stuffing as a kid, now is the time to make up for that missed time.  YUM!! And watch out chocolate cream pie.... I will find you! You guys, when I was going through radiation,  I literally made a pie every day.  I couldn't eat because my throat hurt so bad and I couldn't swallow.  The cold pudding and whip cream was amazing!!! I thought I wouldn't want it anymore because it would bring back that yucky feeling but I was wrong. (Big surprise!)
Life is good and busy.  The girls are doing well in school.  Allie is in 7th grade and is a supermodel and is my height. She tried out for ACES -club vball and is starting the season this next month.  I am thrilled!!!! She loved dancing, but people.... I am telling you she is gonna make momma proud on the court! I was never a dance mom. I would go to the comps and sit and enjoy them and wonder why all these crazy moms were going nuts, making sure everything was perfect and the music was right and make up and costumes.....  Well let me tell you, I am now a crazy volleyball mom.  As I watch Allie play I can't sit still and I want to jump out of my seat and yell and I can't focus on anything but her!!!! I now get it! I hope I can mellow out and I won't embarrass her too badly.  She is so tall and strong and smart and just fabulous.  I am so proud to be her mommy and she is going to do amazing things. Lexi is in 4th grade and doing great! She reads to me all the time and she is so animated and happy.  She is playing Jr. Jazz and dancing too.  And if she wants to be a cheer leader or an artist or an actor, well we will put her in those activities too. I love that Lexi tries anything! If someone says, " Lets make up a cheer" she is stretching and ramping up to make up a rhyme to cheer.  If she is asked to sing, she belts it out and sounds lovely.  If she is asked to play soccer she runs on the field and gives it her all.  I LOVE THIS!!!! Makes me so happy.  She doesn't doubt herself and we encourage her no matter what the activity.  She loves to play and rollerblade and shoot hoops.  She is so beautiful and such a little peace maker in our home. She has classic one liners all the time that are so funny!!! She has such a sense of humor.  Tay is a little ball of energy.  She is clean and tidy and puts things where they go. She likes to make people laugh and she is always down for being silly.  Just like me! :) She is talking like crazy and loves chocolate milk and noodles.  She absolutely adores her sisters.  When they come home from school she runs to them.  The pick her up and love on her and tell her her night gown is pretty.  Because lets be honest, its 90 percent of what she wears all day. She loves all the silky princess gowns, she changes about ten times a day. She likes them to touch the floor and then she picks up the front and walks.  It is hilarious.  She is so smart and catches on to everything.  You can't hide anything from her or sneak things past her.  When she needs a new diaper she says, " bum" and brings you the diaper and wipes.  Yes we are talking potty soon too. :) She loves horses!!! She calls them puppies or puppy ponies.  It is darling! I don't correct her because then what? She won't call horses puppies anymore?!! :( SAD She loves bathing and bubbles and everything a little girl should. I love her so very much.
Jake is doing fabulous at work and continually gets the highest reviews and kicks butt!!! He works so hard for our family and gives us whatever we need.  He is funny, and charming and such a wonderful daddy to these amazing daughters we have.  I often feel sorry when he comes home from work.  This estrogen filled home is bursting with loud music and laughter, sometimes yelling, hair apts, tee shirt making, neighbor kids, homework, laundry.....the list goes on.  He doesn't complain or ask what we are doing or why things are crazy.  He jumps in and helps and asks us how our day was.  He brings us home treats and flowers and is so thoughtful.  I love you Jakey and I am so thankful for the beautiful life, children and home we have together.  He laughs at my jokes, too.  KIDS- One of the most important qualities in a  partner is a sense of humor.  Laughter can do a lot for you.... Remember that.  Don't marry someone that isn't willing to be silly, or tickle you, or tease you or let you tease them!! Priceless! Even though Jake gets so fired up when I tickle him and I don't stop. Like, so mad!!! And I love it.  He never holds a grudge like I do. HA!
Salon is going good.  I love my clients and they are all so concerned about my health and my family. I continually make everyone look fabulous and I love doing this! ;)
Tee shirts are crazy and good.  I love making these darling tees and seeing people all over the world wear them and send me pics ever day!! I had no clue that it would do well. :)
Now to the Cancer stuff.... but first,  Tom my incredible bro in law got his scan results back this week and he is doing great.  It is  nothing short of a miracle!!!! For those of you who don't know, he was diagnosed with advanced stage 4 melanoma a few weeks after I was diagnosed.  He is strong!!! So strong. Emotionally, physically and spiritually! He and my sister amaze me with their strength. I cannot express the joy and gratitude I felt when I got the news of the clean scan.  This is like GOLD to our family.  I need nothing else this Christmas season.  And everyone else in my family would say the same.  Heavenly Father is aware of our needs and our wants and our every thought.  He heals and he delivers miracles.  For the next four months we can be at peace, rejoice in this amazing time of year.  
I have scans once a year.  My scans are this Monday morning.  It is always an unsure, anxious strange feeling going into these scans.  I remember the first time I walked into the Cancer center.  There were sick people everywhere.  I remember thinking, What am I doing here? I am a young, healthy wife and mother.  My family needed me and the last place in the world I wanted to be was here, among all these other sick people.  I felt alone, although I was far from alone.  I was scared and unsure and didn't know if I was going to live or become violently ill from the treatment or what was going to happen.  It was very strange and it is still surreal to go back there every three months for visits and scans.  Hoping for great results this next week.  Chemo and radiation do a number on you.  I have a lot of things going on.  Nothing crazy.  Migraines, joint pain in my feet, elbows and legs. Numbness in my hands and feet.  I know these will get better as time passes.  Thankful for modern medicine and my wonderful family doctor who helps me through all these things.  Going to oncology apts post cancer is really frustrating.  Everything, "isn't chemo related" the second you are six months out from treatment.  BLAH!!!! Whatev-skey, Doc.  Just check my scans and Ill be on my way.  
There are some great forums that I have been on to get some good advice and hear from other people experiencing all the SAME " non related" things.  This has been a great resource.  So lets pray things are good next week for scans.  I will keep posting throughout this journey.  It has been so good to go back and read my posts.  The last two years have been a blur.  Chemo brain is not a joke!!! The struggle is real- as Allie would say.  I am just trucking along though.  Thankful to be alive and have such a blessed life.  
I hope all of you have a very Happy Thanksgiving and a Lovely Christmas!!! Remember why we celebrate and do something nice  for those people around you.  Thanks for your continual support and love! XO

Here we are…. :)

I have been a slacker!! Well I have been busy, but just haven't taken the time to write. :(  It has almost been a year since I found the dreaded golf ball in my neck (the lump)…. What a year!!! I can't remember most of it to be honest and I really wish I'd have kept a personal journal.  I remember surgeries,  radiation, chemo, laying in bed, having to quit nursing my baby because I was starting chemo. That was the saddest part for me.  That might sound lame but it was.  As most of you know I am a hairdresser/mom/wife/daughter/sister/furniture restorer/blogger(once every three months)/weight watcher member (Ive lost 14 lbs baby)/immaculate housekeeper/trophy wife ;) BUSY!!! I understand I am not any busier than the rest of you.  AND yes, I have ADD- so I am scatter brained and forgetful.  Being a natural blond-post chemo makes for a very forgetful person who can't remember what I ate for breakfast. (That just made me think of the WAFFLE LOVE truck. YUM!!!!  Go if you haven't!!! AMAZING!)
 I am so grateful for the strength my family have been given to make it through the last few years.  I couldn't have done it without all of  you.  So, here is the update.  I felt great in October.  Started working out, felt more rested and I was really looking forward to feeling better.  November and December were busy and I was exhausted, sad, tired, anti social, lazy, kept getting migraines, couldn't lift the baby, I had NO strength!! I couldn't lift a pan off the darn stove.  My muscles and joints hurt all the time.  So strange.  I didn't think much of it until I was having major dizziness, confusion on top of all the things mentioned previously.  Did I mention I was tired?? So I had scans at end of December and talked with my oncologist about all of my concerns.  He thought that it was most likely just my body adjusting after everything.  I literally thought I had RA or MS or MONO again or something serious.  Blood work came back normal and scans looked great.  Glad for that but so confused.  I had many conversations with my sister, Mindy who knows I am not a sissy.  It hurt to walk and do hair and really anything.  I felt like a 100 year old woman.  She encouraged me to go and see my family doc to just get a second opinion.  I really love my oncologist but I think that he was looking for something more serious and it wasn't there.  He suggested meds for depression/anxiety and I certainly didn't think that was the answer.  I made an apt and told my family doc everything I was feeling. Was I severely depressed? Did my oncologist miss something? Did I have another disease?  I knew something was way off but I feared I looked like a crazy person.  He tested everything and listened to me for a half hour and asked me many questions.  Two days later he called and told me I was severely deficient in vitamin D!! UGH ok? I asked WEB MD what the symptoms were for this deficiency.  Fatigue, depression, headaches, dizziness, confusion, sadness, join and muscle pain.  So I got a mega dose of vitamin D and I take that for twelve weeks, which is almost up and then do blood work again.  I am just feeling better the last two weeks.  Who would have known.  Well I guess WEB MD would've known.  HA!!
Things are going great, my family is well, my beautiful daughters are happy and healthy and full of life.  Jake has been incredibly supportive and helps me so much.  He is an amazing, hard worker and he does so well in every aspect of life.  He is so passionate about life and what he loves.  That is my favorite thing about him, besides the way he makes me feel and that dimple in his chin and the way he makes me laugh all of the time... He was promoted to District Operations Manager for Home Depot.  He loves all his associates, and the company.  Such a blessing to have a good job that he loves.  Taylor is walking and talking and her personality is so funny.  She has so much energy and is so sweet and curious about everything.  She has a firey side to her, which all of my girls do.  I am starting to think its me that has given them this wonderful gift.  HAHA! Allie and Lexi are doing great in school and staying busy with homework, dance, jump team, birthday parties, chores and all the fun things that kids do.
 I am still doing hair and I love it.  No better feeling in the world then to make someone feel good about themselves.  I have amazing friends that have been beside me every step of the way.  My family is so incredible and I would be lost without them.  I have so many things to be thankful for.  Not a day goes by that I don't think twice about  griping or losing it in a crazy moment.  I am alive and I have so much left to give and accomplish here.  I often find myself saying YOLO.  But, seriously… I wear a lipstick that might be too bright, or wear something edgy because I love it.  I stay up late when I want to and splurge a little when I shouldn't. I want to live life with no regrets. I challenge you to do the same.  I have been working on a little something that I am starting up in the next while.  Something I never thought I'd do. Nothing crazy, just a fun little something to inspire me and feed my creative side.  SO MUCH FUN for kiddos and moms.  More details to come! ;) No, Im not pregnant.
So thats the run down on the last few months.  I appreciate each of you all and I am so happy that you have all been along to support and strengthen me and my family.  Scans again in May and I really don't know if that gets easier or less scary.  Dang cancer.
My bro in law Tom is such an inspiration to me and everyone who knows him.  So many people ask me every week how he and my sister are doing. He is beating odds, living life and has an incredible spirit and mind set about things.  Is he cured?  No, but if you see or talk with him you would wonder why he is so upbeat and positive.  He isn't under going treatment right now.  Scans again soon.  Im sure most of you follow his blog.  I love you, Tom and Brandy.  I love each of your children so much. You have both been such an inspiration and an example to me over the years.  I will never forget being around you two when you first fell in love.  You were crazy for each other and you had so much fun together.  I will never forget when I went bowling with the two of you and Tom got a strike and he smooched me right on the  lips.  Tom, you are hilarious! :) I would watch the two of you as a young girl and I would always hope to find the silly, fun, wonderful love you two shared.
Be Happy and be kind to everyone.  Spread love, joy, happiness and positivity in the world!  XOXO

2013....where do I begin???

2013-What a year it has been... to say the least.  I feel so humbled and blessed to be where I am today.  I cannot put into words my feelings of gratitude, but I will try.  I have 3 beautiful, healthy, smart daughters that are my whole world!  Some days they give me a run for my money, but I wouldn't change it for a thing.  Allie is turning into a wonderful young woman who is much more like me than I like to admit.  She is going to move mountains.  She is sensitive, caring and doesn't miss a beat. She will be an amazing mother someday.  She took such great care of all of us over the year.  Lexi will always be my baby.  She is such a joy to be around.  She loves to giggle and be tickled.  She is a wonderful helper and she has loved having a baby sister to help with.  She loves school and has so many friends.  Little Taylor  Sue has saved me.  End of story!!  Her sweet little spirit came into our family at the perfect time.  She is an angel straight from Heaven.  She made me keep going on my darkest days.  I had to keep going and she needed me to keep going, so I did.  She has the funnest little personality and she is changing everyday.  She is so funny, just like her mommy! ;) She loves her sisters and her Daddy so much!  I am so thankful for the huge blessing and little piece of Heaven she brings into each of our lives every single day.  I have an amazing, hard working, handsome supportive husband who gives me everything I ever need and more.  He has been so supportive throughout the entire year.  He never fails to amaze me with his encouragement, strength and ability to cope.  He is very wise beyond his years.  He continues to love our daughters, every single day! He hugs them, kisses them, tells them how great they are and talks with them.  His loving example over the last five years has taught me more about giving and serving others than he will ever know.  He always puts our needs before his own and I couldn't be happier with the choice I made. Thank You, Jakey!  I love you so much.

I have the most amazing friends a girl could ask for.  Each one of them helped me so much over the course of the year.  Running kids around, carpool, taking them for fun activities, making meals, cleaning my house,  grocery shopping, watching sweet baby girl while I had treatments, driving me around town while I sucked on morphine pops because my throat hurt so bad from radiation. Or as I called it, (Driving crazy Ms. Daisy) haha! Thanks, Chelsey! The visits, cards, flowers, meals and messages to check in on me and my family meant the whole wide world to me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I love each of you so much and I can never repay you for what you have done for me.

When Tiff said she was gonna do a 5k fundraiser for me and Tom I knew it would happen, because by hell when she says she is gonna do something, she does it! ;) And she went above and beyond to make it happen.  It was amazing, and we had a huge turnout.  So many incredible people coming together to pull off something amazing!  All the planning with the city (Tiff and Kara North), donations, registration (Chris Finken, Tiff), Tiff- getting sponsors, raffle (Reena, Kaye, Kris, DAD)  set up, clean up,  putting all the bags together with tshirts and race numbers (Tiff, Brian, Kaili, Krystal, Chelsey, Misty, Julie, Robyn, Kami, Laura, Kara North, Allie, Kara Barney.  My parents,  Mike and Kris Holmes, Kevin and Barbara Camp, Carloe Molyneux, (collecting donations), The Henry family (all of you) taking payments, helping with raffle, day of race registration, and everything else.  Terrell Rohm for your computer skills with day of registration and numbers.  Kade and Kara Barney for all the nice, cold drinks! The LDS church- the property it was held at.  Stanley Steemer,  (Damon Paxman), Peerless Electric  (Reggie and Deann Huffman), Coca-Cola (Kade Barney), Utah Community Credit Union, Ultimate Dance, (Misty Anderson),  The Sugaryshrink.com, Blossom Clothing Botique, Life's Solutions Counseling, Tomi Hill for the logo design for shirts and banners.  Reni Gardner for the amazing banners.  Joe Tuia'ana for your speakers and stereo equipment. Melissa Zurcher, (Zurchers) for paper products and raffle tickets.  Holmes and Holmes (Dad), for the huge AC unit that kept all of us from getting too hot.  Family and friends who came from all over, drove into town to support us.  Scott Severinsen for lending us the golf cart for the race and the Summer! :) Volunteer photographers (Ali and Jen) , drink station volunteers, 26.2 running co., Rebel Style Racing,  (Scotty and Wendel Electric), SS Crossfit, Anytime Fitness, NEUROWORX,  Paypros, Brickyard Buffalo.  Wow, that's alot of people... THANK YOU!! :) ALSO, shout out to My fabulous sister, Mindy who was there in spirit, but was busy with her brand new baby!!  If I forgot anyone, forgive me. Such a fun, memorable event that we will never forget!

Starting line...

*TEAM TOMMY*ANGIES ARMY*

my beautiful, brave sister Brandy (Toms wife)

Such fun pics which Im glad were taken, because that day is a blur.  I had just had a treatment! Such a wonderful event.

I had a scan a few weeks ago, and they looked wonderful!! Hopefully many more of those to come.  I am so blessed to have made it through a trying year that I never though Id make it through.   That may sound dramatic, but I truly thought I couldn't do it when we got the diagnosis.  I didn't believe what was happening to my little world.  I didn't understand and I didn't know how we would get through it.  I was given strength and courage to keep going.  Through prayer and prayers from others I was given clarity and peace that things would be okay...That my little family would be okay, whatever the outcome.  I needed to have faith!  Heavenly father poured blessings out on our family, every single day!  He allowed us to grow and learn from this experience.  I am so grateful for these things!  I am so very grateful that I  can hug my littles every day and kiss them and tell them how much I love them.  I tell them I am so lucky I get to be their mom.  I find happy, small moments every day in the hustle and bustle of things.  I loved sharing the Holidays in our new, beautiful home with my family.  I love hearing the girls sing and play and go about their days.  I am even thankful for the arguments, hormones of daughters and little daily struggles we have.  I challenge each of you to tell your spouse, and children every day how special they are to you.  Tell them fun memories of when they were smaller, often and watch them light up.  They need our encouragement, love and support more than we know.  They need our kisses and hugs even when they are naughty! That is probably when they need it most! I need to work on this.  Tell your spouse what you appreciate about them.  Tell them why you fell in love with them and why you are still in love with them.  If you feel disconnected from someone, serve them and try your hardest to reconnect!  If you need to forgive someone, DO IT!!! Its that easy!  Let anger, jealousy and hostility go.  These things will RUIN you and your ability to love and receive love. Enjoy your job, no matter how hard or boring or whatever!  Be happy that you have the ability to provide for yourself and your family and have the strength to do so.  Smile and laugh everyday!  Smile at a stranger! Wave at a stranger! Buy a meal for a stranger in a restaurant, or pay for the persons coke or twenty cheeseburgers behind you in the drive thru.  (Especially if you finished ordering before they did, so you pull ahead thinking you go first and then you proceed to the first window ahead of them, while they curse at you and flip the bird at you while banging on their steering wheel...with your kids in the car.  Instead of flipping the bird back, pay for their order.  They will think twice next time and possibly return the favor for another!) TRUE STORY! HA! Doing something kind for someone else will fill your heart with such joy and happiness and it is CONTAGIOUS!!  People I am telling you that it takes ten times the energy to be angry and upset and hold grudges.  BE HAPPY!! I love each one of you and pray that we can all love life and enjoy it to the fullest!  Spend time with loved ones and make wonderful memories that will last far beyond this life! Happy New Year!!  XOXO

Radiation

So here we are two radiation treatments left to go and so much more has happened than I thought would.... This has been a challenge and I have tried to be brave and strong.  Radiation the first few days was a breeze.  Then my throat stared to hurt, then it started to really hurt. Like I couldn't eat or even swallow hurt. I expected a mild sore throat but nothing like this.  Monday morning I called and got in to see doc and explained my situation.  My esophagus is burnt obviously from radiation but I also had an infection and swollen tonsils.  I was given a "pain sucker" (famous with cancer patients) and told after a few minutes I would be loopy and the pain would be gone.  As I went for blood work I ate the whole thing and had no relief... And I mean NONE!
I marched straight back in there and told them I had no improvement.  They gave me antibiotic, steroids and pain pills, finally.  Some relief.  Unreal how bad my throat hurt and still hurts.  Two more days to go and then it should start getting better.  It has been a doozy and just all part of the process.   The last few times I lay on the radiation table and they strap me down with the mask on I get so anxious I literally have to meditate or go to a far away place so I don't lose it.  This journey has not been easy, but I have learned a lot about myself and how I handle things.  I have been so blessed by all the help and support that others offer daily.  My dear friend, Chelsey takes me almost every day because I cant drive on crazy pills. :) THANK YOU SO MUCH! She sits and takes care of Taylor while Im in there and it  has taken so much stress off me.  Love her!  After this last treatment Monday I will be free for six weeks then a follow up with oncologist.  I cannot wait to feel normal and healthy again,  Do not take your health for granted.  EVER!! I know I have in the past and I am going to be better!!  Thank you for all your prayers, love and thoughts....XO

BEING STRAPPED DOWN WITH MASK...EEEEK!

 >

I am really feeling like a horrible blogger.  I haven't updated in such a long time.  I apologize.  Chemo kicked my bootay and after four cycles complete my scans came back showing a complete response.  I couldn't be happier about being finished with that part.  As planned I met with My radiation doctor at AF Hospital at beginning of August.  His name is Dr. Barney.  I am starting radiation tomorrow morning and will have 12 radiation appointments.  (less than I was originally told)  I had my mask made for these appointments last week and it was interesting.  Pics of the mask to come..... FREAKY!!
My body is finally feeling better, as the chemo is finally leaving my system.  Peace out chemo, you did your job now move on outta here.  It is the hardest thing I have gone through thus far....like in my entire life. I am thankful I responded so well and I cant wait to feel better each day.  I shouldn't have too many side effects from radiation, maybe a sore throat and fatigue.  I cannot imagine this is anything in comparison to chemo treatments, so bring it on.

 I am up and running right before the UTES start playing!! YAY- cannot wait to go to the football games.  Last year I was on bed rest and didn't make it to most of the games.  Sitting on bleachers are bad enough and its even worse when you are contracting every three minutes and trying to do kegels so baby girl doesn't make an appearance while I'm eating my churro and foot long... (I mean mid game) ;)
Sad but True.  Excited about that.....

I am also excited about the kids going back to school.  Not a very fun summer with very few fun activities.  The sun is a real beast while under the influence of chemo.  The girls were such a big help and I could not have done it without them.  Allie seriously was the mother this sumer.  She made more bottles and changed more diapers than I.  She made me lunches and made sure I was taken care of. What an angel and what an amazing mommy she will be.

Each day is truly a blessing and I am so thankful for all the love and support that you have all given us through this.  I am a lucky woman to have such an amazing husband and outstanding daughters that make me so happy.  They make me laugh and smile every day and I would be lost without them.  I couldn't see an end in sight when I was diagnosed with this crummy disease.  I have grown so much and realized how much I have to be thankful for.  I love being a mother and it is the BEST think I have ever done and the best thing I will ever do.  Even though I still need practice.  It has made me get out of bed every day and battle through and fight harder than I ever thought I could have.  I love my little girls and I am so thankful to be their mommy.  Heavenly Father knows just what we need and exactly when we need it.  Over the last five years I have been through some of the roughest times.  I thought so many times that I couldn't keep going and I would almost give up.  I needed to learn and grow and become something better.  I wouldn't change any of this for the world.  I trust in his plan now more than ever and he will not ever forsake any of us.  I am happier than I ever have been and I have learned so much about life, love, trust, patience and so many other things.  I know I am watched over every day and I have so much to fulfill in this life still.  Cancer knocked me down but I am a fighter and I am gonna come back better than ever.  I love life and it loves me right back! XOXO

The final countdown.....We have one more treatment after today!!! :) Still have my hair, although it is thin.  Feeling pretty good.  The last few weeks has been a little harder.  More fatigue, blurred vision, numb hands and worst of all the bone pains.  So strange to think this poison is in my body just DOIN WORK!!!  I am so thankful that I am responding well to meds and that this chemo part is almost over.
It hasn't been fun in any way but it has changed my life and made me thankful for my health.  Radiation will start and be four weeks, possibly six, every day M-F.

The cutest, sweetest couple were here doing henna tattoos for people.  They are really cool and of course I had them ink me.  I got a cancer ribbon on my foot.  It is pretty cool and it makes me smile! :)

Jake is here with me and is the sweetest most supportive husband.  He has been so amazing through all of this and we are so so ecstatic this part is almost finished.  He is currently talking in an accent to try to make me laugh.  Not sure if its British or Irish?!  Anyways, he always makes me laugh. Love it!

We are going to go on a killer vacation after all of this to celebrate.  I want to take the kids to a beach and relax and just enjoy some time as a family.  This summer has been rough as the sun really knocks me out.  We haven't gone swimming, camping, boating or anything.... I told the girls we would make it up to them. :)

I appreciate all of you and love each one of you for your care and concern for our family.  We are so blessed to be in the neighborhood we are in and to have the family and friends we do.  Love you all! XO

Today is a great day! Jake and I are at chemo.  Start of the third cycle today.  My pet scan last friday shows a complete response to chemo.  FABULOUS!!!  We couldn't be happier.  Three more treatments after today and then most likely no radiation.  I feel so blessed that my body has responded well to treatment.   Prayers and love and support have made this doable.

I am still really losing hair, but thanks to a new discovery by Tiffany, I now look like I have a full head of hair.  HAHA  So funny and although my hair feels like nasty halloween sprayed hair (because thats exactly what it is)  You cant run a brush through it easily after the spray has been strategically placed on the thinning areas, but Ill tell you what,  IT WORKS!  If you were around in the early nineties you remember the infomercials with the balding men who literally sprayed what looked like a can of spray paint on balding areas.  I thought this was so funny and I remember laughing and thinking how in the hell do they think they can pull that off?!  Well I am now, "pulling it off. " IRONIC! And, hilarious. SEE BELOW....

amazing coverage

I can't  think of a better name for this product

As we speak, my dear sister, Mindy is having her fourth baby.  She has been such a support to me through all this even tough she has been tired and prego!  She is my BFF and I love her so much.  We are basically the same person- We love to laugh together and this has saved me so many times.  Never a dull moment.  LOVE HER and I cant wait to meet baby Anna. :)

The 5k run that so many wonderful people have helped organized is tomorrow morning.  I am so excited and  hopefully will feel well enough to go hang out.  Wonderful people, amazing raffle prizes and community fun.  Wear sunscreen!!! Come join us!!!

It will be a wonderful week and we are counting down til we are done with treatment.  I am so thankful for all the love and support and strength I have been given through this trying time.  I know Heavenly Father is aware of me and my family more than ever.  I feel such love and comfort knowing he is watching over each of us every day.  Things work out according to his plan, and we need to have faith that he will take us under his careful watch and protect and love us. I love you all!!  XO

Friday was my fourth treatment and it was a doozy!  I am getting more fatigue each time, not sure why.  I get sick and nauseous every time we go and every time I think about it! :( I am a major wimp!!   Father's Day fell on my birthday this year and it was a great day.  Jake is such a great father to our little gals and we are so lucky to have him.  We visited Ryan's grave before we went to a BBQ at my dad's house.  I was like a zombie but I was there in spirit.  HA!

We got all moved into our new house and it is fabulous!  It is so beautiful and we love the new neighborhood and neighbors.  Thank you to all the family and friends that helped us move.  It was difficult because Im not as strong as usual and I am so darn tired.  Jakes Aunt Lois was able to come down and help us for the week.  So appreciative for all the love and support.   It has been a busy month.  The girls went to San Diego with Gma and Gpa Wendel and their aunts and cousins.  This gave us time to get all moved and settled while they partied it up on the beach.  They had so much fun and I am so grateful they were able to go.

The 5k is coming up and if you haven't already registered, DO IT! It is going to be so much fun with lots of amazing raffle items, treats and wonderful company.   If you don't want to do race still come and hang out and support this awesome cause.  It will be a blast!

We are so thankful for all the prayer and support that has been extended our way over the last months.  I know we would not have made it thus far without each of you.  We live in such a wonderful community where people jump at the chance to help, bring a meal or just ask how we are doing.  So many of you ask about my bro in law, Tom.  He is doing well and has finished radiation.  He is at Huntsman as we speak and starting infusion therapy. He is amazing and I am so grateful to be apart of his journey.  He is in great spirits, as always and he is such an inspiration to many.  He is changing the world one blog post at a time! ;) Love you TOM!!!

So thankful for each day I am given to love my children, laugh and be able to have the health to do the things that I need to.  I have the best family and friends and I love every one of you!!

TEAM TOMMY

Fake it til you make it?? Homie don't play dat!!

The first thing they do when we get here for treatment is access my port to draw blood.  They make sure that your blood cell counts are normal before they administer drugs.  There are a lot of students here today watching and learning.  Kind of scares me, I hope they know Im no guinea pig and this aint' just like taking someones vitals.  And yes I know aint' aint' a word! :) The red devil drug which is a part of my ABVD treatment and the B for bleomicine is scary..... Every 2 cc's that are pushed they pull back and watch for blood return to make sure it is going to he right spot.  It is toxic, toxic stuff and no offense but Id rather a highly trained nurse administer it than a nervous student.  Students please don't come near me with a ten foot pole.  I know what I was thinking and feeling when I was a student and that was only for perming and washing grannies hair.  "Fake it til you make it"???  No faking it when the toxic stuff spills out onto my skin and I lose a limb.  Glad they didn't come too close or I would have yelled, "FIRE!" dead serious, I would have.

When they give these drugs the taste and smell that overcome you is yucky!!!  It is like opening a bottle of rubbing alcohol and inhaling over and over again.  Thankfully I came prepared with an oldy but a goody.  Grape Big League chew... YUM!  I even shared with the nurse because I didn't want to be the only one chomping.  Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for all the love, as always I am a lucky gal to have all of you.  XO

This is what it looks like before they hook me up

this takes me back....

This  last few weeks have been busy.... Kids getting out of school, a wedding, selling our current house, buying a new house, packing boxes, doing hair and being mom. Although its been busy,  I couldn't be happier with life right now.  Last weekend my dear friend Tiff and I were able to go to Mesquite for a few days and to Vegas for Kami and Rich's wedding.  It was a much needed get away.  The weather was perfect, the company was perfect and we laughed and laughed and laughed the entire car ride. :) We ate at an amazing steak house and got a 80 minute massage.  Laid by the pool and gambled a bit. Laughter is the best medicine, so I am sure I am fully healed.  I have the greatest friends in the world, and I love every one of them.

I thought my hair would be long gone by now. I am on day 27 of treatment.  My hair is shedding like crazy but no clumps yet....Which is a real bummer because I have had some really good hair days the last few weeks.  I want to pull a Britney Spears move and buzz it all off and shock everyone.  I think when the time comes I will do so, and then look in the mirror at myself and say, " It's Britney B****!"
I told my sisters today that I am terrified to lose my hair.  Seems so silly when I know my cancer is very curable and I am going to be just fine after all is said and done.  Ill just be a baldy for a while.

Today is my sister Brandy's birthday.  She is such a wonderful sister and I love her so much.  She is an incredible friend, wife and mother, she is smart, kind and beautiful and she is amazing!  Mindy and I arranged a surprise lunch with some of her besties.  We had so much fun and Brandy was so happy to see them.  Then we went shopping.....Picture all three of us in a handicapped dressing room with a cart full of clothes and my little Taylor as well.  Early 90s music playing as we tried on different things.  I of course busted a few dance moves in my undies (spanx-if you don't have some, GET SOME!) and that is always a treat.  One of my favorite things about my sisters is that we can laugh and have a good time no mater the stresses of life.  Mindy thinks I am the funniest person alive (she is right) and Brandy humors us both.  We all try on the same things and it is so funny how different our bodies are.  Pants that are supposed to be crops or capris on Brandy are long enough to be pants.  Those same pants on me look like knee shorts.  Mindy fetches Brandy and I sizes and returns with the sizes we requested along with a few sizes bigger because she knows those are our true sizes we should buy to avoid muffin top. Throughout each of our lives we have each laughed at our fluctuating weight loss and weight gain.  Mindy is almost nine months pregnant and is adorable.  Brandy is and has been the thinnest of us for a while.  I am supposed to be the sick sister with cancer, who you would think is losing weight rapidly and frail.  Hmmmmm..... Ive never felt more normal or had such an appetite?!?  I hear its the steroids.  Having sisters is the best and Ill tell you why... I would never tell a friend that they look horrible in something.  I will only kindly steer them away from the fashion no no.  I do tell Mindy and Brandy if something looks bad, and they never miss a chance to do the same for me.  It is usually followed up by, "Really? I thought I looked really cute." And then we all crack up.  Whoever is the thinnest at the time we make fun of because  secretly we are jealous.  We never hurt each others feelings, rather its an ongoing joke over the years.  The "chubby clothes" are passed around to the chubby sister.  Pretty smart of us if you ask me. We had a lovely time and it was a blast!

Funny how perspective on life changes when illness or a trial arises. How soon we also forget after we are given the strength to overcome these trials.  Maybe thats why we always have a struggle even if it a small one.  Now more than ever I consider each day a blessing and I have never felt so lucky to be surrounded by the people I share my life with.  My sisters are choice women who have made me the woman I am.  They have taught me so many things over the years and I'm positive we would be lost without each other.  We don't bicker or have arguments and we have an unexplainable understanding of one another.  I hit the mother load when it came to sisters and you should all be jealous. ;)

Chemo tomorrow bright and early.  One more month and scans will be repeated to see where we are at.  I feel so fortunate we live in a time where medications are readily available to each of us in times of sickness.  I am thankful for an amazing support system.  I am thankful for my hubby and the amazing man he is.  I am so proud I am the mother to three incredible daughters that bring so much happiness to my life.  I am doing so well under these circumstances and I appreciate all the love and concern from each of you.  XO

 Birthday girl

 Happy Birthday lunch

What a cute group of gals

Today, I am so grateful for my little Taylor Sue.  This little girl is an angel straight from Heaven.  She is mellow and calm like her daddy.  She is constantly smiling and bright eyed.  She has brought our family so much happiness.  As many of you know January of 2012 my two older girls father, Ryan passed away.  Jake and I were in the process of trying to get pregnant.  A month after his passing, we learned that we were expecting.  Of course my hormones on top of all the other emotions I was going through were out of control.  Jake and I and the girls were so excited and we knew this was a gift from Heaven.  Not only to bring our little family closer, but to help lighten the sadness and bring perspective to this life.  Allie and Lexi were so excited and were anxiously awaiting.  Pregnancy was rough, and I went into labor at 18 weeks.  Contractions every few minutes and bed rest.  Not fun!!  Not to mention all the drugs they give you to help stop labor make you feel crazy.  And I am already partially crazy... on top of the circumstances....and the meds, I was a full blown crazy!  ;)

When the time finally came after all of that, induction of labor was needed.  IRONIC!  She was perfect in every way and had tons of black thick hair!  Jake was amazed at what had just taken place.  I was once again in awe of this tiny miracle that I was entrusted with.  Nothing compares!  She has helped each member of our family in amazing ways.  With everything going on the last few months, she is an angel.  She takes a three or four hour nap with mommy when I need it.  She does not cry!!!!! Unless she is hungry. She smiles at me every time I talk to her.  When I cry, she looks into my eyes and she knows what I am sad about.  She gives me hope.  She eats when she is supposed to.  She loves to bath.  She loves her sisters so much.  And she is a spitting image of her daddy!! (My favorite thing)
She is even completely losing her hair as we speak...( I call it sympathy chemo)  She knows me so well and what I need.  I love her and I am over the moon ! XO

 

Here we go.....round two

Here we are again.  Almost feels like its not so big of a deal being here, getting poison administered from nurses wearing hazmat suits.  Ironic that all I can think about is my dear brother in law, Tom.  Didn't sleep much last night, woke up every hour and tossed and turned thinking about my sisters sweet little family.  As we talked last night my sister Brandy said, "Tom and I would kill for lymphoma at this point." and we giggled.  Their strength and bravery through this time in their lives amazes me.  Tom is going to show this cancer who is boss.... Must run in the family! ;) I told him we are more alike and he and I must be the strongest people in our family because we were diagnosed with this yucky stuff. HA

Both of our families have been blessed in so many ways it is hard to recall all of the things people have done for us.  The encouraging texts, emails, visits and kind words that will help us kick this cancers A$$!!  The exciting events that have been planned are going to be so much fun and give us something to look forward to.  Truly amazed and humbled at the kindness and concern from people.  I have been given the most incredible parents (all of them) the most giving, kind hearted siblings, the most supportive, loving friends and neighbors in the world.  My husband inspires and encourages me every day since we have met.  I am so in love with this man.  He is everything good, happy, positive and wonderful that I strive to be.  Plus...He is a babe and I love his new red Cinci hat he is sportin today! He makes me laugh, We cry together in happy and sad times.  He understands me with no words being said.  He knows what I am thinking and he caters to me and our little girls! He amazes me and if you are tired of hearing it...too damn bad!  ;) My daughters are straight from heaven.  Although, they test my patience at times.  I am so lucky to be a mother. There is nothing more important to me than those little gals.

We met with our doctor this morning before we started chemo and I am responding well.  The small tumors on the left side of my neck can hardly be felt anymore.  I am so blessed to have a strong body (big bonded) body that can handle this challenge.  I am even more blessed to have a strong mind, although a lot of you will disagree because lets face it... Im a ditz.  When I was told I may have cancer I remember sending a text to my step mom, Kris saying, "I cannot do this, I swear it I don't have the strength." Strange, how quickly I was given the strength to not only do this,  but DO THIS!!! The only way that this is possible is through the prayers from friends and family and a watchful eye of our Heavenly Father.  I will stay positive for my family and for myself because I am freaking awesome.... and I don't really have a choice, do I?  Why, yes I do have a choice and Im coming fierce baby!!!! WATCH OUT!! XO

Got alot on my mind....

and yes Im a red head now....WHY NOT? I already feel smarter! YOLO

Left; Joe McFarland Western Division President of Home Depot

Right; Jeff Rodda Senior District Investigator aka Jake's Boss

Also, this week Jake was able to give our Angie's Army bracelets to some pretty important people that Work with him.  Home Depot proves again, it is an incredible company that is so very supportive through all of this.  I have seen and heard so many amazing stories about the associates of this company.  I will never shop at Lowes again...and you should't either (Dad) ;)

As many of you know, last week my sister Brandy's husband, Tom was diagnosed with melanoma.  He  found a lump underneath his arm and had a first operation on it about two weeks ago.  He had another operation last Friday to remove more of the mass.  He is doing well and recovering this week.  They will be doing scans tomorrow before he sees an oncologist to get a treatment plan.  He is such an inspiration to me and always has been.  I went to visit him and their cute little family on Sunday. He was resting in bed, so I climbed right in and we talked and laughed and I cried.  He is in great spirits, and like me... will fight like hell.  #TeamTommy

None of us understand why we have the trials we do in life.  I do know that our character is built through these trails.  Rather it a death of a loved one, divorce, disease, sickness, financial stress, job loss or just plain old day to day trials.  We are tested and  pushed to the limits to define us and our strength.  Our Heavenly father is very aware of us and our needs.  He knows our heart aches, struggles and frustrations more than we know.  It is our responsibility to go to him, daily and ask for help and strength to get us and our loves ones through this life.  He will help and guide us to become the people that we are destined to be.  He is waiting for us to humble ourselves and ask for help.  No matter your religion, race, beliefs or background.  We all have spirituality within us and it is mighty and powerful.

Our friends have organized a 5k for Saturday, June 29th.  It will be fabulous, because all the fabulous people in our lives will be there.  Please come support and run, walk, ride, scoot, or ride along in a wagon.  We will have breakfast treats afterwards.  Friends, family and anyone you want to invite.  Spread the word and mark your calendars and lets do this!!!! Registration soon to come on www.wegotthis5k.com. We will see you there!!!!  Also, follow Toms blog, coming soon @ teamtommy36.blogspot.com
XO

Race for the CURE

Angie's ARMY

What a gal.....

This morning one of my dearest friends, Kami ran in the Race for the Cure, for me! I love her and this pic makes me so happy!! Love you, Kami Lou!!! XO

We had the chance to do family pics last week with my friend, Ali Sumsion.  She offered to do them as I really wanted to, before I lose my goldy locks. She did a wonderful job and here are a few of my favs.  I have the cutest darn family.... :)

 MY FAV.....

Couldn't be happier!!! :) XO

Sunday...not so fun day

As we were told, day one and possibly day two after treatment wouldn't b so bad because of all the anti nausea drugs and steroids given before chemo.  Saturday evening I started to feel nauseated so I went to bed pretty early. Id like to say Sunday morning I woke up, but I didn't. I stayed in bed til noon then woke up to eat then back down for a nap.  I felt like I had run a marathon and was very weak.  Not that I would know what a marathon feels like but you get the picture.  I had been taking anti nausea meds but I don't think I had eaten enough with them.  I woke up around three to go to the bathroom and I was sitting on the toilet looking at my cute toenails, when I suddenly became very sweaty and nauseous. I fell to my knees and remembered heaving into the shower and then...whammy I must have passed out for a few seconds. Then I came to and realized I had fallen and was laying in my vomit...Yucky!!!!  I hollered for Jake and he came right up and to the rescue.  He helped me clean up and get in the bath.  I washed my hair and face and I felt much better.  After that I had a yummy dinner that I was able to keep down, (thanks to the Finkens).  The night went well and I was feeling like I had a little energy back.  I was able to bath and get kids to bed and that is an accomplishment in this state. :)

This morning was good.  I feel very blessed to have been able to have the strength to get my girls ready for school, do a load of wash and feed my sweet Taylor.  I know all the prayers that are being said on our behalf are helping us.  Thank you all so very much.  I get numerous emails, texts and calls everyday telling us that people are praying for our family.  The power of prayer is REAL!!!!  I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and what I can and cannot handle.  I love my husband and sweet daughters so very much and it is in times like these that the little things make me so happy.  

Also I think I need Life Alert.... Until now I thought this a funny and also sad commercial... Not so funny anymore!!! I only hope  my sweet Jake will accept the other part on the respondent end. So much for BFF necklaces I was gonna buy us.  These are the way to go, for now. XO

What the "Hair" am I to do?

During this last week, I got to make a visit to a fabulous wig shop.... because I will lose my hair.  My sweet step mom, Barbara invited me to go and I thought it appropriate.  It was really strange at first sight and smell.  Even though I am a stylist, and work with human hair extensions it is quite different to have and feel a full wig.  Not just for Halloween or dress up, but for real.... They had all shapes and colors and sizes and it was comical to me a bit.  And if you know me.... comedy helps me deal and I guess that is why Im so darn funny, as Ive been through a lot in my short 31 years ;)


Then it became real when I sat at a vanity and the lady helping us got a nude nylon from a box.  My first thought was, "We aren't at Payless Shoes, silly girl", (flashbacks from childhood)  and she slicked my hair back, as if I were bald.  My second thought was, "Lets go rob a bank, because these wigs were pricey!!!!" While I told her I am of course a blonde bombshell (as she could see) she she went to find a few wigs.  I was excited to find a nice one, but more excited to find a not so good one and take a pic and tease people.

The resemblance in uncanny.... I was always told I was the mailman's because Im olive colored and have light hair (unlike my sisters) It was all finally adding up....

but seriously, I got this in blonde and I really hope It has the "Beth Chapman" look as we are both chubby and blonde and sexy!!! ;)  and we have sexy husbands.....

I also got a hat wig that resembles a jock strap on top.  Actually, I am really excited to get them in a few days because I hear hair loss can start sooner than later! 

XO