Lets start with what has happened so far.....
In the middle of March I was driving with my friend Kami when I was itching my neck and suddenly felt a very large lump right above my collar bone. I jumped and pulled my hand away in disbelief. I always wondered what a lump would feel like and now I knew. Kami felt it and we both thought it strange how large it was and it seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. I had a strong feeling it was something serious but I went about my day and decided that I would just watch it. Over the next few days it didn't go away and I knew that I had better get it looked at. The following week I had an appointment scheduled to see my OB for an IUD placement. I figured I'd get her opinion while I was there. She was concerned about the size and location of the lump. After talking about a few things she thought it could be she gave me a general surgeons number and said to get in ASAP. Whatever it was it was large and needed to be removed. I called right away and made an appointment. I was scheduled to see Dr. Naylor the next Tuesday, April 9th.
I went to my appointment and after a quick exam was informed that he believed the lump to be lymphoma. I didn't know what that was, but quickly assumed when I heard the words chemo and radiation follow that it was cancer. He urged me to schedule surgery asap to have the lump removed and a biopsy done. On April 15th the general surgeon conducted a procedure to remove the golf ball size tumor. I have a three inch incision above my right collar bone. While in recovery with Jake, he informed us that he still felt it was a form of lymphoma. On April 17th we got a call from our surgeon, confirming the type of cancer was Hodgkin's Lymphoma. We had anticipated this to be the result of the biopsy. I was instructed to contact an oncologist within the next few days.
We contacted the Cancer Institute of Utah in Salt Lake. We scheduled an Appointment for Tuesday, April 23rd. We were anxious to meet with the Doctor and see what our options were and get more information about this disease. As I walked into the clinic I saw a few chemo patients in the waiting room. I overheard a few conversations and as I filled out all my paperwork it all was becoming more real. I had cancer and whatever the treatment plan I knew it was going to be a long road. When we got back into the room to see the doctor, I was given a gown and was told he would be doing a quick exam. The doctor felt for other lumps, and luckily there was just a few small ones on the other side of my neck that he felt would shrink and disappear with treatment. He sat down with us for about an hour and gave us every bit of information that he could. He answered all of our questions and we felt very informed and confident in his plan. He urged we get going on chemo the following week but first he wanted me to have a PET scan and a CT scan. We set those up for the following Monday. As i drove home I had a small breakdown and stupidly enough....was sobbing because I would lose my hair. A hairless hairdresser??? Really?!?!
When I had time to myself over the next few days I admit I thought and said, "Why me, why now?" I thought, "I am too young, my husband and sweet girls need me to be healthy and strong." I also thought the worst, because even saying the word, "cancer" scared the living day lights out of me. I sobbed for the first few days, while holding my sweet baby girl, Taylor. When I looked at Jake or my girls I couldn't contain my emotions. I could hardly walk into the baby's room and look at the pink stripes we had painted, without crying. I teared up every time I embraced each of my sweet little girls. I cried at bedtime, I cried when I woke up in the morning. Trying to stay strong and positive was almost impossible. And most of all, I couldn't even think of how young and fragile I was at the tender age of six when my mom was taken from me. Was this going to happen to my little family? I knew I was approaching the age that my mother was when she passed away, and I thought this no coincidence. I had to keep my mind from wondering in a negative direction.
We contacted the Cancer Institute of Utah in Salt Lake. We scheduled an Appointment for Tuesday, April 23rd. We were anxious to meet with the Doctor and see what our options were and get more information about this disease. As I walked into the clinic I saw a few chemo patients in the waiting room. I overheard a few conversations and as I filled out all my paperwork it all was becoming more real. I had cancer and whatever the treatment plan I knew it was going to be a long road. When we got back into the room to see the doctor, I was given a gown and was told he would be doing a quick exam. The doctor felt for other lumps, and luckily there was just a few small ones on the other side of my neck that he felt would shrink and disappear with treatment. He sat down with us for about an hour and gave us every bit of information that he could. He answered all of our questions and we felt very informed and confident in his plan. He urged we get going on chemo the following week but first he wanted me to have a PET scan and a CT scan. We set those up for the following Monday. As i drove home I had a small breakdown and stupidly enough....was sobbing because I would lose my hair. A hairless hairdresser??? Really?!?!
April 29th apt for scans
Waiting for my scans..... first of many IVs
I wore this skirt that my sis got for me. Little things make me feel comforted and happy.... Thanks, Min
On May 1st, I had a port placed for the chemo to be administered through, rather than doing an IV every time I have treatment. Just another part of the process before the actual chemo. That afternoon we also confirmed, through the PET scan and CT that the cancer is just in my neck-chest area. Thank heavens! On top of surgery that day, we also went to a chemo class. It was informative and very helpful. So now we just wait for chemo to begin and move forward.....
